never enough time

I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday.

As a treat to myself, I planned a trip to the North of England to be with on of my best friends, Gemma Daly. Unfortunately, I had so much fun, and I remembered just exactly how much I love her, that now I am desperate to go back again.

So, now the problem has arisen that there are too many things that I want to do, that there are just not enough hours in the day or days in a week or months in a year. I have blessings coming from every side, that I don't know how to handle them all- I guess it is actually a very good problem.

On the work side- I sincerely love my work. Yes, there are definitely moments and hours, and sometimes even days, when I am thinking "PLEASE LET THE WEEKEND COME." But usually when I am gone from Mia, Sam, Lydia, & Margot I miss them terribly. And I always come back from a weekend away thinking they look older and that I missed out on something. Although my job definitely includes a lot of "work," I still want to do it. I want to be here, in this home, as a part of this family, watching these precious children grow up. I love growing closer to them and making them smile and watching them learn. It's amazing.

Then on the other side of the coin, I have my "personal" life/ my free time- which I want to make the most of. I have already made some great friends in Geneva, who I love spending time with and traveling with. Spending time with them is rest from the hectic life of being a nanny, and most of them are nannies, so it is great to be able to sympathize and talk about our kids without feeling guilty about boring someone. I want to invest in them and get to know them and travel with them. But on the other side, I have a deep yearning to spend time with the people I already know and love. The fact that one of my best friends lives a short (and relatively cheap) plane ride away, draws me to the North. Like I mentioned before, as I was flying away, I was already missing her and the comfort I felt with someone so familiar and close.

So how do I do everything? How do I truly invest in this family, not wanting them to feel like I don't absolutely love them, and miss them when I am gone; while I still feel drawn to (and need) outside relationships that keep pulling me away?

I guess its all about moderation- but right now it just doesn't seem like there isn't enough time.

MY BIRTHDAY:
In case you were wondering about my birthday festivities, well here it is. The Fiore's were kind enough to give me the morning off on my birthday before my flight to Newcastle. So I got to sleep in a bit, plan a trip to Prague, and then get packed to head out. I drove my car the Fiore's apartment in Geneva, took the bus to the train station, took the train to the airport, and then got on my flight to Newcastle.
When I arrived in England, Gem was there to great me with a big hug, a balloon and a birthday present! I was SO excited to see her! It was so surreal- seeing a friend that, at our last goodbye, I didn't know when I would see again. So we took the metro to the center of Newcastle and did a bit of sightseeing and ice skating, then we took the train to Durham (where she goes to school).
Her little home was very cute and she stealthily put me in her room and said she was "going to go see if anyone else was there." Then she brought me into the lounge where she had decorated the entire place with red, white & blue balloons & made me a table FULL of cakes and treats. I was so overwhelmed and honored. It made me feel so loved and special. She really is wonderful. The rest of the weekend was full of shopping, touring Newcastle & Durham, going out to dinner for my birthday, and hitting up the worst nightclub in Europe. It was an AMAZING, UNFORGETTABLE way to spend my birthday and I don't know if I will ever be able to come close to it again.

Alright it's late, and I need to do my French homework.

Night!