last days in Jerusalem

I can't really say anything because I am feeling everything. I could write an entire post about my love for this place, my sadness about leaving this family, about how much I am going to miss this life of newness and adventure and precious children. Yet, I could also write about my excitement of returning home. I could tell about how I daydream of Christmas days with my family, of going shopping with my sister and helping my dearest friend plan her wedding and about how I am excited about grad school and living in Atlanta and rediscovering all the people I left behind.
I've got Margot on my lap right now and she is trying to play with the keyboard. I love her big cheeks and her big belly. As I told a friend the other day, every extra little roll gives me a extra joy. I will miss how Margot tries to squirm away when I give her kisses. And how Lydia shakes her head back and forth as if she is always disagreeing with me.


I will miss singing "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" with Mia and being constantly amazed at her beauty and intelligence (she has seriously amazing genes). I am going to miss little Sam singing to himself and hearing those beautiful Godly lyrics coming out in his whispering little boy voice. I am going to miss little hands and giggling and dancing and the look on their faces when they figure out they can do something new. I am going to miss cuddles and kisses and the unconditional love that children give.

I am going to miss things about Jerusalem. I feel like this city has really strengthened me in my faith. I don't see how anyone can be lackadaisical here. Everyone is on fire here...and that goes for me too. It's been an intense few months, but I am thankful for every day.














And working for a Christian family has been such an amazing blessing. They were so encouraging as I kept learning and exploring. I mean, they pretty much organized a church service when I wanted to be baptized, how many employers do you know who would do that? I don't think they will ever know how much they have meant to me over this past year. The Fiores have been such an amazing example of Christ-centered living. And I have been extremely blessed by them.

Finally, the friends I have made in Jerusalem have shown me a heart for Jesus that drew me in and changed me, hopefully forever. I will never forget how they demonstrated the love of Christ in my life. Like I said, I am an extremely blessed girl.

This coming Friday (today is Monday, I will be heading back to Geneva for a few days and then I am going back home to Georgia. I am a big ball of emotions, but the only emotion I am letting surface and rule me is excitement. I don't want to waste my time being sad, I just want to enjoy these last few days, and be the best au pair and friend I can be. I have been given so much, and I want to return the favor. To you folks at home, I am SO looking forward to seeing you! I apologize if I talk way too much about Switzerland, Jerusalem, or the kids, just bear with me. Have a great day!

camel!

The countdown starts today: 16 days until I am back in America! Isn't that crazy? I have been gone for nearly a year. I left right after Christmas, and I am going to be back right before Christmas...a whole year has gone by for me, and it's funny that America has gone through a whole year too.

I am excited because I am going back to Christmas, back to my family and helping my best friend plan her wedding, and helping my sister decorate her new house (maybe), and back to school and friends that I have missed deeply. But, of course, I am still me, and I think that I will always be desiring more out of the world. I have had such amazing experiences thus far, that I can't imagine just being still. Seriously, I have created a family in Geneva, Milan, Jerusalem, Stare Splavy (Czech Republic), and I have friends freckled all over the world. I have been extremely blessed, and it's amazing to be in this position- to feel at home in so many places is unreal. And it just reminds me that wherever the Lord is, I can make my home with Him.

Speaking of my family here in Jerusalem, I had the BEST day yesterday! I have been wanting to explore more the Israel, and FINALLY I got to! We set out early in the morning from the Hill's house and headed to Masada: one of Herod the Great's creations. It is a city built on the top of a mountain, overlooking the dead sea. It is a engineering masterpiece, and has a crazy history of zealots living up there and being attacked by the Romans 1st Century AD. Apparently when the Romans finally finished their siege ramp, all of the Jewish zealots had killed themselves rather than be killed or go into slavery. From there we were headed to En Gedi, but the girl who drove my car knew how much I wanted to go in the Dead Sea, so she made a quick stop and me and my friend John ran down to the water so he could document my swim. I love stuff like that- changing in the car and then busting out and running at a stop on the side of the road. Unfortunately, when we got back, the other car had come back and told us the En Gedi was closed because of fear of flash flooding. I didn't really know what I was missing, so I didn't really mind (plus I had just swam in the Dead Sea! So, I was happy).

The other car decided to head home, but my car went on the Jericho. On the way, Emily pulled a U-turn when we passed a camel b/c she knew I wanted to ride on one (she's so great!). So I got to experience a camel ride! My camel's name was Charlie, but I didn't think that was very fitting, so I named him Sir Charles and pretended I was a princess waving to my adoring public. From there, we went to Jericho to see Zacchaeus' tree (Zacchaeus was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he... you know), and the remains of the first ever city, and a coptic church where Zacchaeus' bones are (supposedly), and then we had some mint tea and pizza at a great little restaurant.


All in all, like I said, a GREAT day! And I slept SO well last night b/c of all my adventures. I always love a great night's sleep after a long adventurous day. How cool is it that I have made friends here and gotten to go on a fun little road trip with them around Israel? I love life sometimes.

Right, that's all for now. Have a great day!

ignorance is bliss

I was glad when they said to me, "let us go into the house of the Lord." Our feet have been standing within your gates, O Jerusalem. (Psalm 122)

I was glad when they asked me to move to Jerusalem with them. Where I am in life, I crave adventure and newness and beauty and discovery. And all of that I have found here. I have been overwhelmingly blessed here. But this place isn't easy, you have to work for it, or I should say fight for it...and everyone does. They fight and they struggle and they haven't gotten anywhere. I say "they" because, literally, EVERYONE wants something more from this place. I've written some about all of it, so I won't get into who wants what, because sometimes it gets so convoluted you can't even figure out what you want, let alone anyone else.

And what's interesting is that it's all under the surface. Tourists don't feel it. Tourists walk around and take pictures of the interesting and beautiful things, they marvel at the Hebrew and Arabic script everywhere that looks like gibberish, they cross borders and pass through disputed land, and they don't need to be bothered by the fear and anger and struggle here. For a neutral European or American, it is probably the easiest living here. But if you have any relationship with Jesus, beware of all the spiritual warfare. Because, that's what it all boils down to. This is God's holy city, for better or for worse, and that means a lot of "rulers, powers, and authorities of darkness in the heavenly realms" are after it. Of course, if you don't believe in all that, you can just live in ignorant bliss.

But I am always encouraged by the words from Hosea
Then the Lord said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans." So I bought her for 15 shekels of silver, and one and a half homers of barley. And I said to her, "You shall stay with me many days; you shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man- so, too, will I be toward you." For the children of Israel shall abide many days without kings or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar, without ephod or teraphim (idolatrous items of worship). Afterward the children of Israel shall return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They shall fear the Lord and His goodness in the latter days. (Hosea 3)

But don't take my word for it, come here and experience it for yourself.

to please Him

Without realizing it, the years pass. Without realizing it, we change and become different people, for better or worse. Without realizing it, big things happen and we wake up amazed that our paths have lead us where we are.

I'm in Israel, if you hadn't realized. My world is 4 beautiful children who I've fallen in love with, an amazing family who have taught me more about the Lord and living in faith and graciousness and hospitality and having a Christ-centered marriage than I ever imagined I could have learned. My world is kosher falafels and crowded Arab markets and bargaining and conservative clothing. My world is ignoring any man that talks to me and craving people to connect with and, when I do connect, trying not to bore everyone with my stories of the kids. My world is constantly growing and learning and gaining new understanding.
This past weekend, I was baptized at East Jerusalem Baptist Church by my current employer, Sam Fiore.

Here's how it kind of came about (sorry if I already sent this to you in an email):
In the past few months, the issue of Baptism has come up a lot. It was all in random discussions and random sermons, but it happened so frequently, that I wanted to sit down and give some thought to what I believed about it all. I don't really care about different churches theologies, I just wanted to read the scripture and listen for the Holy Spirit and search out what would please God.

So, I did. And I got nothing. I asked people's opinions and felt semi-judged in different ways. Some people told me it wasn't an important enough issue to put so much concern into. And some were surprised that I hadn't been baptized as an adult believer. But, for me, like I said, it wasn't about theology or feeling like I wasn't already saved or doing something just to cover my bases, I truly just wanted to search out what I thought would please God.
I talked a lot with Michelle about it too, and she was always very supportive of my concerns. She is great to talk things through with because she doesn't let her personal beliefs get in the way of the Spirit. We had just talked one morning & I had ended up getting really frustrated because I just wanted an answer. I wanted to hear something definite. I wanted to feel assured, one way or the other, about what would honor God. And I finally just gave up. I decided that I would stop worrying about it, that if God wanted to convict me to get baptized as an adult, that whenever he did, I would be willing. I have been open to his calling and I will try to continue to be. So, as I was writing this in my journal and eating some Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide ice cream, I heard from God.

The Spirit asked: "Do you think getting baptized will please God."
And I said: "yes"
And he said: "then why are you fighting it? what is keeping you from being baptized?"
And I said: "nothing, I am going to do it."

So, I did it. Here is Jerusalem. It was really hard to find a place to be baptized because everyone goes to the Jordan to be baptized and so no one has a baptismal. I wanted it to be easy. I wanted everyone to be able to come and for it to just be a sweet celebration of love for the Lord. I was willing to settle for a bathtub at Jerusalem University, but, we finally found a church with a baptismal. So, this past Sunday night, we invited everyone we knew in Jerusalem to come to the church to watch my baptism. Emily was here, so she got to be with me as I picked out songs I wanted to sing and I practiced sharing my testimony to her (I'll have you know we cried every time I told it). It was such sweet time, planning and praying and talking and singing through the hymns we wanted and baking cookies for the reception. So, the night came and there were so many people there! I was overwhelmed. I looked around and there were 40-50 people all there to share this with me. I was amazed that I had built up that kind of community in just a month and a half. AMAZED. There were even a few guys there who had just heard that a young woman was going to be baptized, so they showed up. It was unreal. And when all the JUC students came in in a huge group, my heart was so full. Things like this don't just happen. People don't come to a random country and make friends like this.


 So, I was overwhelmed by the Spirit and overwhelmed by the people who had come to support me and overwhelmed by how the Lord had been gradually bringing me to this point. He had taken me to the wilderness and spoken softly to me until I called him "My Husband" (Hosea 2:16). He betrothed me to Him forever, and I know Him (Hosea 2:19,20).

Emily was supposed to read this verse while I went to the back of the church on my way to the baptismal, but no one was paying attention, so I will write it out here:

"But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."
Titus 3:4-7

we've been here for years

We've been here for years
living off the land and collecting rain in our hands
we took the wrong path somewhere and we couldn't get back
the dam broke and the river rose
locking us in

how did you find us?
which way did you come?
we've been here for years
living off the land and haven't seen another soul

we lost our language and our ears
we lost our shoes and our feet
we lost our clothes and our bodies
we lost our thoughts and our dreams
we've been here for years
collecting rain in our hands
the dam broke and the river rose
locking us in

oh, no, we can't go back with you
we lost our shoes and our feet
we've been here for years
living off the land and collecting rain in our hands

oh, no we can't leave
we've been here for years


So much is happening here. Lydia and Margot just turned one. The weather is getting colder. The days are getting shorter. I've been hearing for the Lord & I am going to be baptized next week (hopefully). I am really excited :). My sister is thinking about buying a house. My best friend just got engaged. A good friend from Geneva is getting married in a week. Another friend is coming to visit me on Thursday. And the days I have left away from America are fewer and fewer. It's an odd time. I am excited and sad and hopeful and everything all in one.

The Holy Land is surely leaving its mark on me- relationally, physically, and spiritually. Every time I come to a new place and have to make new friends, I don't think I will ever be able meet people who match all the people I left behind. But, every time, I am overwhelmed by God's provision. I have a few places I can call home here in Jerusalem, one in Musrara with the Fiores, one in Talpiot with the Hills, and one on Mount Zion at JUC. Seriously? Can I be so blessed? I get excited just thinking how lucky I am.

Now, I don't really feel like sharing my soul on my blog, but I'll just say that, since I have been here, I have realized a lot about myself & my arrogance and stubbornness. And the poem I wrote above is about stubbornness & stupidity. I think, knowing that, it should makes sense.

Yesterday was the twin's birthday. This is the first birthday I have experienced where I felt a kind of relief & pride. It's a big deal for a baby to turn one. That they are just healthy and happy brings a sense of accomplishment. So I was kind of celebrating that. We got them through one whole year! Happy Birthday Girls!

dance with the joyful

There is a haze over Jerusalem. Desert wind brought dust in that fills the sky and my mind so I am always tired and fuzzy.

We just finished Sukkot, which is the Feast of Tabernacles (or Booths). We have a sukka outside our house that our neighbors put up. Basically what happens, is all the Jewish families put up these little wooden sheds outside their homes. If you read in Leviticus & Deuteronomy it talks about The Feast of Tabernacles, where every family is supposed to live in a booth built a certain way in remembrance for the Israelites living conditions when they were in the desert for 40 years. The weekend before Sukkot is Yom Kippur- the day of atonement. Everything is completely shut down as the Jews repent and ask for atonement. Then, from the following Wednesday to the next Wednesday, they eat all of their meals in this little hut. Some of the more observant Jews even sleep in them for a week. They even put sukkot at all of the restaurants so everyone can still go out to eat while still observing the holiday. I don't know what I was expecting, but I think I was surprised with this holiday because it was so much fun. There was tinsel and decorations everywhere. Our neighbors were constantly having guests over and having little dinner parties in their sukka. I guess it is just nice to see the people and the kids really enjoying this holiday, when they seem to live their lives so seriously. I mean, I would be that serious about life too if I only believed in the Old Testament, but it was just surprising and refreshing. There was even a big sukka set up in the Saffra Square near our house. They had music and games and all sorts of things set up for all the families. They had this bubbles station where the kids got to make this huge bubbles...I'll admit I enjoyed it a bit. For the Jews, this past week is the one time of year where God comes down and manifests himself with them, so it's pretty exciting. I can see why it is such a joyful celebration for them. And I think it is my favorite of all the Jewish holidays I've seen or heard of.

I have been really blessed to have been able to meet a bunch of different people here. I have really connected with some of the students at Jerusalem University, and I also have gotten involved in a Bible Study with some young adults from around Jerusalem. There is one Jewish girl, one Palestinian girl, one Bahamanian, and then a few girls from the states. I feel so lucky to be able to sit and talk with them about our different lives and hear their thoughts on life in Jerusalem. Reem started teaching me Arabic today, and she has even given me homework so I can practice while she is away. And last night, we had a sleepover and she was giving us all belly-dancing tips. I can't wait to one day brag, saying; "Oh, I just picked it up while I was living in Israel." No big deal.

The sleepover last night and one I had last week with some girls from Jerusalem University really restore me. Something about mixing chocolate, dancing, prayer, heart-to-heart talking, and chick flicks makes my life seem perfect.

Last Thursday I went to Bethlehem with some of the JUC (Jerusalem University) students. I had the day off so I went to Arabic class with them and then we all went to Wi'am- a Christian-based, Palestinian conflict resolution center. We took a tour of one of the refugee camps and heard about how hard their lives are, just 15 minutes and a huge guarded wall away from Jerusalem. I think I have been lucky because I am hearing both sides. I have heard from an Israeli who had 5 family members killed by Hamas, who blames the Palestinians for of his woes. I have talked to an Israeli soldier about the issue of keeping their people safe, and heard his somewhat one-sided approach to how that should be accomplished. I have listened to Netanyahu and Abbas on the news. I have been to Bethlehem and seen how the people actually live. I have a Palestinian friend who is only allowed out of the West Bank for a few days every month and only with special permission. I have heard the Zionists with their manifest destiny and seeming lack of concern for the Arabs in Israel. There is so much to say on this issue, and I don't think I have even scratched the service of all the differing emotions, but I love discovering it and thinking about it. I love learning and discussing and trying to sort through all the different layers and not let myself be swayed by every new bit of evidence.

Everything I learn and everything I see just makes me more and more confident that the true issues- the issues that go deeper than stolen land and boundary lines and a massive graffiti-ed wall that separates communities - cannot be solved by the government or a non-profit. This land and these people will only be restored and renewed by a Greater power. Christ will redeem this seemingly lost cause.

"I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful."
Jeremiah 31:4

And the kids- how could I only be mentioning them now? I guess they seem like such a part of my life, I am prone to either only talk about them, or only talk about things not pertaining to them. Seriously, though, I feel like a mom half the time because I talk about them so much. I am a little obsessed...which is one reason why I am not thinking about my departure. And, when I do, I only think about the exciting things I will be going to, rather than all I will be leaving. After the babies nap today, I went to get Margot and was trying to get her out of the room without waking Lydia. But, of course Lydia senses someone's presence and looks out from under the ball that she has herself coiled up in for nap and says "Hey" (or what I am positive sounded like hey). And then she sees me is says "kelly" for the first time ever! I don't care if no one else heard it, it sounded like kelly to me :)
And I am getting in the mood for fall, so I cut out some pumpkins that Sam and Mia could draw faces on. I gave them ideas for all the shapes they could use for the eyes and the mouth. Sam insisted on circle eyes and then he ended up putting the nose right in the middle of the eyes and Mia kept saying "three eyes, three eyes, three eyes," while I defended Sam's case about the nose. It was quite funny. And there is this movie that Sam is OBSESSED with. It is this big green bear basically telling kids the right way to behave (which is very nice indoctrination if you ask me) but it has the funniest songs about caring and cleaning & everything you would expect. It is just funny how Sam doesn't get sick of it. And I asked Mia how many times they have watched it, and she says "Oh, A LOT, like SEVEN times." They've totally watched it more than seven times, I like how that is her idea of a lot. It reminds me of when I first moved to Switzerland and she asked me if I was going to stay forever. I figured out how many days I would be with her and I told her, and she goes "that's close to forever." And it did seem like it then...with only 6 weeks left of forever..I don't want to think about it.

Bye! Happy Halloween!

around town

Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks, and I still can't get used to the fact that I live in Jerusalem. I keep reading the Bible and being like "oh, there it's mentioned again. Cool!"

I spend most of my free time reading or going to Jerusalem University and hanging out with the students there. I have gotten to explore more of East Jerusalem and experience the contrast between the Arab and Israeli side. It is crazy that there are such evident divides in the city without any actual boundary lines. You don't realize until after you cross the road that you are in another world- different language, different dress, different everything.
Yesterday we went to the zoo. My personal favorite was the penguins. They had a part where you could see underwater as the penguins swam. The babies followed them with their eyes and the kids ran from side to side as the penguins swam. Then the penguins would get out of the water and shake there little tails and we'd all giggle. It was grand. We roared at the bears and lions and impersonated the meercats (Mia's favorite animal). We were a little upset that the elephants were absent, but we got over it with the ice cream. Sam practiced his monkey faces and Mia proved herself a great map reader ("next is the cheetah, and the we'll be going to.....what's this animal called?")

Last night I went to a Bible study. At one of the churches I went to, I met this really cool girl named Kimmie who kindly took my number and told me she would let me know when things were happening. So, I walked to Talpiot (about 45 minutes away) and spent a great evening with a group of people I'd never met before. I love when that happens- when you just luckily (or maybe we shouldn't call it luck) stumble on a group of fun people. There was laughing and dancing and guitar playing and singing. It was wonderful. I kept looking around at everyone wondering what there story was and where they were from. There was one Palestinian girl who lived in Ramallah and she was worried she might have trouble getting past the check point that night. (In case you didn't know, the residents of the West Bank have to get permission to come into West Jerusalem, and they are usually just allowed in for a day. And she won't be allowed back until the 23rd, so we are already planning a girls night. It's the oddest thing to think that someone isn't allowed to go where they want when they want. I have never realized how blessed I am to be American. Seriously, it's great. We can travel most anywhere without even applying for a visa. My eyes are really being opened to the situation in Israel. Praying for the peace of Jerusalem never seemed more necessary (read Psalm 122).

And, another crazy thing, I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but before we even thought about coming to Israel, this random girl got stranded in Geneva. Her father recognized Sam's name on a church website he looked up when trying to find someone to take in his daughter, so he got in contact with Sam and she came to stay with us. Her father is a minister in Jerusalem, and knows Sam's parents (who are missionaries in Milan). Also, he is the minister of the church Michelle went to when she lived in Jerusalem. So- that girl who stayed with us in Geneva, and who lives in Jerusalem, has a sister. I was at her sister's apartment. Crazy, eh? It is such a small world.

Alright more on the Israel-Palestine situation, making friends, life with four kids, and other stuff later. I'm going to watch some Gilmore Girls & go to bed.

Have a good night!