* POST-SWITZERLAND PLANS
I thought I had it all figured out. I guess that is how it always it, isn't it? You have an idea in your mind, and then you think about it so much that, at some point, that idea becomes THE PLAN. And you feel comfortable with it, and ready for it. Well, for me, THE PLAN was: get into Georgia State to start the January semester, hopefully get my 9-5 job back at Stericyle (I know, the name is rough)- and basically kill myself working full time, going to school, living with my parents, and being near my friends in Atlanta. I won't find out if I got into GSU until November, but it is kind of nice having to depend on the Lord, rather than actual facts, for your peace and security. When I got into UGA, I was really proud of myself and excited, and I thought that I was a shoe in for GSU (which I still hopefully am). I thought I would have to turn down UGA because I had already decided to stay in Switzerland until December...but then my UGA advisers got to talking, and they suggested me for a late start in Spring Semester 2012. So, basically, if you haven't followed all of that, nothing is actually wrong, I just found out that I will absolutely be going to school in January. Where? I don't know, but either in Athens or Atlanta. Now, why? you ask, does this new information about being able to go to UGA throw me for a loop? Honestly, I don't know. I guess I had it in my head that I was trusting in God by turning down going to UGA for the fall semester, and I would be going to GSU, working, etc like I said before. I felt like He was closing the door to UGA and then I would either have GSU or just find a job...and I was comfortable and okay with that. But, if I go to UGA, I will be moving back to Athens. I will have to take out student loans or find a weekend job that I can live on...it's all a bit scary. I hate the idea of being in debt. It feel humbled by the idea of living off of my parents good graces for a few more years. I guess getting into UGA in this way has just unsettled me. Nothing is wrong, actually, I should be really proud that my advisers think I can do a 2 year degree in a year and a half...I was just surprised I suppose.
To sum up: I will be going back to school in the Spring to become a Master of Teaching! Crazy, eh?
* THE SUMMER OF WEDDINGS
First, I want to apologize to Britney Ray, Liz Dennis(soon to me Mott), Allison Schlichting (soon to be Duncan), Bonne Beasley (soon to be Cecil), and Mary Griffith (soon to be Davis) for missing your weddings. I want to say first and foremost that I am SOO excited for you and I love you all AND I have been doing some shopping over here to find you the BEST European wedding present EVER. (If you have any requests, let me know!) When I decided to move here, I thought about all that I would be missing out on back home. It is weird how life goes on when you leave a place. 5 of my friends will have different names & different homes & different roommates (ha!) when I return. I am missing one of the biggest days of their lives, and it is heartbreaking & shaming & sad. But, all that being said, I knew I couldn't stay in Georgia and not embark on this exciting adventure for the sake of someone else's life...or lives. I thought about biting the bullet and buying a flight home so I could at least attend one or two of the weddings, but then I had to go about choosing which friend I was going do that for...and you can imagine how that went.
And finally, I felt like God knew what he was doing when he sent me over here. As excited as I am for all of my friends, and as much as I love my life and my singleness; being reminded of it every other weekend at a bachelorette party, or wedding shower, or wedding would probably do more harm than good. Underneath all the smiles and excitements and tears of joy at a wedding, there is insecurity, at least there is for me. Sometimes it hits like a wave of nausea and you feel like you are going to break under the feeling of hopelessness. Then, you get upset for writhing in self-pity at your friends wedding...and who wants those sort of bad vibes at their wedding, right? And it is emotionally unsettling to be torn between such powerful emotions: joy and loneliness. There is something so beautiful about watching two people who love one another bind themselves together- but as they grow stronger, something in my heart stirs. I feel like I am missing something, like I am not complete....I guess the grass is always greener, eh?
CROSSROADS RETREAT:
Two weekends ago, I went to the beautiful Annecy, France for the Crossroad Together Weekend. First of all, I just want to thank the institution of church for being an amazing place to make friends. Honestly, I don't understand how non-church-goers find friends. The only thing I have to say against this wonderful method of finding friends, is that, sometimes you can't tell who actually likes you because everyone is so christiany. As most of you know, I really only hang out with people I like, so this "being super nice to everyone" is something new and different for me. Although, I have found, that sometimes in being nice to someone, you are able to see their good qualities and you start to enjoy them. It is kind of a backwards way to make friends, but sometimes God has better plans that I do...sometimes :).
But back to the retreat- beautiful place, beautiful weather, wonderful speaker- what more could you ask for? We spend the weekend hearing about the power of God from Conrad Embewe, who was fantastic. I would go on, but I get the feeling I have lost most of you by now, so I am trying to quicken the pace here at the end.
* INTERLAKEN:
I went to yet another BEAUTIFUL Swiss city with the Au Pair group, LInk. I went Canyoning the first day, which is basically the closest I will ever get to acting like a superhero (climbing down canyons and jumping into waterfalls, etc); and hiking the second day. I don't really know what to say in regards to the beauty of the Alps...because beauty is hard to describe, and you can't really grasp it until you are there. Interlaken is a really fun city because it is all about outdoor sports and adventures: canyoning, paragliding, hiking, rafting, etc. But, there were a few too many Americans there, if you ask me. (I didn't move all the way to Switzerland to be surrounded by Americans, you know?). I spent a lot of time with some of the German au pairs and thus got to practice my German....so basically the weekend left me physically and mentally WORN OUT. But, no worries, I am having a very easy week back with the kids, thanks to the wonderful Swiss religious holidays.
*ASCENSION DAY:
I slept until 11:30, read the Bible, made French toast for me and Emily, then we watched a movie, took a walk, ate some great muffins, watched another movie, Em made dinner, another movie, bed. Great day off? OH YEAH.
Alright, you are getting sick of me, and I am getting sick of typing...so, that's all for now! Have a wonderful day!
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