we've been here for years

We've been here for years
living off the land and collecting rain in our hands
we took the wrong path somewhere and we couldn't get back
the dam broke and the river rose
locking us in

how did you find us?
which way did you come?
we've been here for years
living off the land and haven't seen another soul

we lost our language and our ears
we lost our shoes and our feet
we lost our clothes and our bodies
we lost our thoughts and our dreams
we've been here for years
collecting rain in our hands
the dam broke and the river rose
locking us in

oh, no, we can't go back with you
we lost our shoes and our feet
we've been here for years
living off the land and collecting rain in our hands

oh, no we can't leave
we've been here for years


So much is happening here. Lydia and Margot just turned one. The weather is getting colder. The days are getting shorter. I've been hearing for the Lord & I am going to be baptized next week (hopefully). I am really excited :). My sister is thinking about buying a house. My best friend just got engaged. A good friend from Geneva is getting married in a week. Another friend is coming to visit me on Thursday. And the days I have left away from America are fewer and fewer. It's an odd time. I am excited and sad and hopeful and everything all in one.

The Holy Land is surely leaving its mark on me- relationally, physically, and spiritually. Every time I come to a new place and have to make new friends, I don't think I will ever be able meet people who match all the people I left behind. But, every time, I am overwhelmed by God's provision. I have a few places I can call home here in Jerusalem, one in Musrara with the Fiores, one in Talpiot with the Hills, and one on Mount Zion at JUC. Seriously? Can I be so blessed? I get excited just thinking how lucky I am.

Now, I don't really feel like sharing my soul on my blog, but I'll just say that, since I have been here, I have realized a lot about myself & my arrogance and stubbornness. And the poem I wrote above is about stubbornness & stupidity. I think, knowing that, it should makes sense.

Yesterday was the twin's birthday. This is the first birthday I have experienced where I felt a kind of relief & pride. It's a big deal for a baby to turn one. That they are just healthy and happy brings a sense of accomplishment. So I was kind of celebrating that. We got them through one whole year! Happy Birthday Girls!

dance with the joyful

There is a haze over Jerusalem. Desert wind brought dust in that fills the sky and my mind so I am always tired and fuzzy.

We just finished Sukkot, which is the Feast of Tabernacles (or Booths). We have a sukka outside our house that our neighbors put up. Basically what happens, is all the Jewish families put up these little wooden sheds outside their homes. If you read in Leviticus & Deuteronomy it talks about The Feast of Tabernacles, where every family is supposed to live in a booth built a certain way in remembrance for the Israelites living conditions when they were in the desert for 40 years. The weekend before Sukkot is Yom Kippur- the day of atonement. Everything is completely shut down as the Jews repent and ask for atonement. Then, from the following Wednesday to the next Wednesday, they eat all of their meals in this little hut. Some of the more observant Jews even sleep in them for a week. They even put sukkot at all of the restaurants so everyone can still go out to eat while still observing the holiday. I don't know what I was expecting, but I think I was surprised with this holiday because it was so much fun. There was tinsel and decorations everywhere. Our neighbors were constantly having guests over and having little dinner parties in their sukka. I guess it is just nice to see the people and the kids really enjoying this holiday, when they seem to live their lives so seriously. I mean, I would be that serious about life too if I only believed in the Old Testament, but it was just surprising and refreshing. There was even a big sukka set up in the Saffra Square near our house. They had music and games and all sorts of things set up for all the families. They had this bubbles station where the kids got to make this huge bubbles...I'll admit I enjoyed it a bit. For the Jews, this past week is the one time of year where God comes down and manifests himself with them, so it's pretty exciting. I can see why it is such a joyful celebration for them. And I think it is my favorite of all the Jewish holidays I've seen or heard of.

I have been really blessed to have been able to meet a bunch of different people here. I have really connected with some of the students at Jerusalem University, and I also have gotten involved in a Bible Study with some young adults from around Jerusalem. There is one Jewish girl, one Palestinian girl, one Bahamanian, and then a few girls from the states. I feel so lucky to be able to sit and talk with them about our different lives and hear their thoughts on life in Jerusalem. Reem started teaching me Arabic today, and she has even given me homework so I can practice while she is away. And last night, we had a sleepover and she was giving us all belly-dancing tips. I can't wait to one day brag, saying; "Oh, I just picked it up while I was living in Israel." No big deal.

The sleepover last night and one I had last week with some girls from Jerusalem University really restore me. Something about mixing chocolate, dancing, prayer, heart-to-heart talking, and chick flicks makes my life seem perfect.

Last Thursday I went to Bethlehem with some of the JUC (Jerusalem University) students. I had the day off so I went to Arabic class with them and then we all went to Wi'am- a Christian-based, Palestinian conflict resolution center. We took a tour of one of the refugee camps and heard about how hard their lives are, just 15 minutes and a huge guarded wall away from Jerusalem. I think I have been lucky because I am hearing both sides. I have heard from an Israeli who had 5 family members killed by Hamas, who blames the Palestinians for of his woes. I have talked to an Israeli soldier about the issue of keeping their people safe, and heard his somewhat one-sided approach to how that should be accomplished. I have listened to Netanyahu and Abbas on the news. I have been to Bethlehem and seen how the people actually live. I have a Palestinian friend who is only allowed out of the West Bank for a few days every month and only with special permission. I have heard the Zionists with their manifest destiny and seeming lack of concern for the Arabs in Israel. There is so much to say on this issue, and I don't think I have even scratched the service of all the differing emotions, but I love discovering it and thinking about it. I love learning and discussing and trying to sort through all the different layers and not let myself be swayed by every new bit of evidence.

Everything I learn and everything I see just makes me more and more confident that the true issues- the issues that go deeper than stolen land and boundary lines and a massive graffiti-ed wall that separates communities - cannot be solved by the government or a non-profit. This land and these people will only be restored and renewed by a Greater power. Christ will redeem this seemingly lost cause.

"I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful."
Jeremiah 31:4

And the kids- how could I only be mentioning them now? I guess they seem like such a part of my life, I am prone to either only talk about them, or only talk about things not pertaining to them. Seriously, though, I feel like a mom half the time because I talk about them so much. I am a little obsessed...which is one reason why I am not thinking about my departure. And, when I do, I only think about the exciting things I will be going to, rather than all I will be leaving. After the babies nap today, I went to get Margot and was trying to get her out of the room without waking Lydia. But, of course Lydia senses someone's presence and looks out from under the ball that she has herself coiled up in for nap and says "Hey" (or what I am positive sounded like hey). And then she sees me is says "kelly" for the first time ever! I don't care if no one else heard it, it sounded like kelly to me :)
And I am getting in the mood for fall, so I cut out some pumpkins that Sam and Mia could draw faces on. I gave them ideas for all the shapes they could use for the eyes and the mouth. Sam insisted on circle eyes and then he ended up putting the nose right in the middle of the eyes and Mia kept saying "three eyes, three eyes, three eyes," while I defended Sam's case about the nose. It was quite funny. And there is this movie that Sam is OBSESSED with. It is this big green bear basically telling kids the right way to behave (which is very nice indoctrination if you ask me) but it has the funniest songs about caring and cleaning & everything you would expect. It is just funny how Sam doesn't get sick of it. And I asked Mia how many times they have watched it, and she says "Oh, A LOT, like SEVEN times." They've totally watched it more than seven times, I like how that is her idea of a lot. It reminds me of when I first moved to Switzerland and she asked me if I was going to stay forever. I figured out how many days I would be with her and I told her, and she goes "that's close to forever." And it did seem like it then...with only 6 weeks left of forever..I don't want to think about it.

Bye! Happy Halloween!

around town

Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks, and I still can't get used to the fact that I live in Jerusalem. I keep reading the Bible and being like "oh, there it's mentioned again. Cool!"

I spend most of my free time reading or going to Jerusalem University and hanging out with the students there. I have gotten to explore more of East Jerusalem and experience the contrast between the Arab and Israeli side. It is crazy that there are such evident divides in the city without any actual boundary lines. You don't realize until after you cross the road that you are in another world- different language, different dress, different everything.
Yesterday we went to the zoo. My personal favorite was the penguins. They had a part where you could see underwater as the penguins swam. The babies followed them with their eyes and the kids ran from side to side as the penguins swam. Then the penguins would get out of the water and shake there little tails and we'd all giggle. It was grand. We roared at the bears and lions and impersonated the meercats (Mia's favorite animal). We were a little upset that the elephants were absent, but we got over it with the ice cream. Sam practiced his monkey faces and Mia proved herself a great map reader ("next is the cheetah, and the we'll be going to.....what's this animal called?")

Last night I went to a Bible study. At one of the churches I went to, I met this really cool girl named Kimmie who kindly took my number and told me she would let me know when things were happening. So, I walked to Talpiot (about 45 minutes away) and spent a great evening with a group of people I'd never met before. I love when that happens- when you just luckily (or maybe we shouldn't call it luck) stumble on a group of fun people. There was laughing and dancing and guitar playing and singing. It was wonderful. I kept looking around at everyone wondering what there story was and where they were from. There was one Palestinian girl who lived in Ramallah and she was worried she might have trouble getting past the check point that night. (In case you didn't know, the residents of the West Bank have to get permission to come into West Jerusalem, and they are usually just allowed in for a day. And she won't be allowed back until the 23rd, so we are already planning a girls night. It's the oddest thing to think that someone isn't allowed to go where they want when they want. I have never realized how blessed I am to be American. Seriously, it's great. We can travel most anywhere without even applying for a visa. My eyes are really being opened to the situation in Israel. Praying for the peace of Jerusalem never seemed more necessary (read Psalm 122).

And, another crazy thing, I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but before we even thought about coming to Israel, this random girl got stranded in Geneva. Her father recognized Sam's name on a church website he looked up when trying to find someone to take in his daughter, so he got in contact with Sam and she came to stay with us. Her father is a minister in Jerusalem, and knows Sam's parents (who are missionaries in Milan). Also, he is the minister of the church Michelle went to when she lived in Jerusalem. So- that girl who stayed with us in Geneva, and who lives in Jerusalem, has a sister. I was at her sister's apartment. Crazy, eh? It is such a small world.

Alright more on the Israel-Palestine situation, making friends, life with four kids, and other stuff later. I'm going to watch some Gilmore Girls & go to bed.

Have a good night!

the peace of Jerusalem

I went to church this past Sunday and they handed me a card with a picture of the old city on the front and an inscription on the inside reading: "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Psalm 122" So, I look up that verse in my Bible. Coincidence of all coincidences, I had read that chapter 2 days before I got this card. And I marked it and dated it noting that I was in Jerusalem when I read it. I won't quote it all here because you would might just skip over this post if I quoted a whole chapter of scripture- but it is basically a prayer of David, seeking the good of the city. Something has been coming on quite slowly for me, and being shown in a hundred different ways- the importance of what's going on here, in Jerusalem. It's in the news, it's in the streets, it's in people's minds and hearts. Now, I am not a Zionist and I don't really put a lot of stress on the actual importance of the buildings and the locale of Jerusalem, but after everything that has occurred here, I think it is important to take a step back and really ponder it all.

I have a few different angles on this, so bear with me...

Today, I was taking the twins on a walk when I guy semi-accosted me, singing his praises to the twin's beauty...or something (he was talking in another language). I didn't really know what to do. He had stunned me into hesitation, and then I couldn't just ignore him. So he just started talking. He talked about Netanyahu (Israeli leader) & Abbas (Palestinian leader) and the Palestinian state. He talked about his 5 family members that were killed by the Hamas (Palestinian Islamic political party that governs the Gaza strip). He talked about how the Palestinians don't want peace and Abbas won't negotiate, etc, etc. And he wasn't speaking English very well, and I don't really have a strong opinion on either side, so I just let him go. But, as I was standing there with the twins in the pram, I was struck by his convictions. I had heard so many people speak so strongly about the different sides to the Palestinian-Israel issue, but I hadn't really heard it directly from the heart of someone who cares like he did. He cares so much that he feels the need to share his feelings with a random American girl he passes in the street. And I can't argue with him. I don't know what it feels like to have family members blown up in bus bombs. I don't know what it feels like when someone wants to take your home away from you. But, the truth is, there is probably one Palestinian who would share there woes for every Israeli. There is so much hurt in this nation, just in this one tiny city...and to think, 3000 years ago, David had already started praying for peace here.

I live in West Jerusalem- the Jewish side of the city. A few blocks away there is a tram road that separates West Jerusalem from East Jerusalem- the Arabic side. At midday I can hear the Muslim prayers rising up from East Jerusalem. In this place, religion is everywhere...and the effects of religious (and thereby political) differences are blaring. Jews live in the Jewish neighborhoods and Muslims live in Islamic neighborhoods. There are Jewish buses and Arabic buses. There is Arabic and Hebrew on every sign. It is literally two different worlds waring with each other. And it is all so convoluted and confusing, that there truly isn't a right side and a wrong side. Everyone is to be pitied and everyone is to be blamed.

So, I was thinking through all of this as I was walking down the street one day. I was thinking about how impossible it all seemed. I know some people can right off one side or another in favor of Biblical prophesy, but that doesn't actually solve anything. In my mind I go through all the things that would have to change for their to be peace. I think about all the compromises that would have to be made or the lives that would be ruined. I think about all the fear their is here. It's not just a matter of politics, it is a matter of lives. It feels like such a lost cause. I pray for the peace of the city, but I don't really see any way it can come about. And then, I was reminded of the power of God. There isn't anything I can do, or Abbas can do, or Netanyahu can do, or anyone can do. It's impossible. But, cliche or not, nothing is impossible for God. No one is outside His will. And that gives me hope for this country. I can pray in faith, knowing that the Lord's will will be done, that his plan is greater than anything I could ever imagine. He has not forgotten his people.

I prayed at the Western Wall last night. As I stood there, I felt engulfed by the pain and hope that had been brought to that place for thousands of years. It made me feel sorrow for what's happened and renewed faith in God's almighty power.

It's the first day of the New Year today (Rosh Hashana), so here's to a new year and a renewed hope!

a week in..

No matter how different the culture is...even though I don't have any people to hang out with...even though I haven't figured out how to spend my time off yet...the life with the kids is pretty much the same thing. The crying continues, the laughing continues, the nap times are the same, the food's a bit different...but still good. We still have rose wine at dinner and coffee every morning. So, I guess I should just take comfort in the day to day.

Funny moment: today Sam spilled yogurt on himself and Mia wiped it off of his leg and ate it.

And even if I was having the worst day in the world- I just put the kids to bed and turned the tv on. Guess what's on. SISTER ACT 2!! I love this movie so much. Pray the kids stay asleep so I can watch it all.

Margot is at a neurologist appointment right now. I really don't know if there is any cure for febrile seizures- and I hope that is what they are. Or that this is just some fluke. But, she hasn't had any more seizures since the last the 2 a few days ago- so that bodes well.

Alright- Sister Act 2 is distracting, so I am going to get back to that. Have a great day!

in jerusalem

So, things haven't started here exactly as I expected. I live about five minutes away from the Damascus Gate into the Old City, but I have only actually gone in twice. And, to be honest, they weren't the most relaxing walks I have ever taken. But I'll get back to that. The reason things have been a bit different than I had imagined was because Margot (one of the twins) had a seizure on our second day here...then she had two more the next day. As you can imagine, it really changes the feel of everything. Not only did Sam & Michelle spent two evenings in the hospital, which makes my presence necessary on the home front. But, taking care of a baby who has seizures is pretty fearful business. I don't think I have ever known fear like I had when Margot had her fit on Tuesday. I was holding her when it happened and I think my heart stopped a little. The past two days I have been in constant prayer that I won't let fear take me over. I want to be strong and sure and helpful. But, more than anything, I want Margot to be healthy. Thankfully, these seizures (we believe) were fever-induced. So, as long as she doesn't have a fever, she should be okay. Please pray that she is okay.

Fear wears you out. And working overtime wears you out....so that might be another explanation for why I haven't been pumped to explore Jerusalem. Also, I don't really have any friends here as of yet. The current plan is to just stalk the students at Sam's University. I've had success with that method in the past (Lauren Angert, Katie Zurcher, Erin Lynch & Leanna Brown)...so I hope it will work again. I only have a short time here, and I really feel like it is a city you need to have company to explore (especially being a woman). You will be happy to hear that I have found my favorite bookstore already! I bought a book so I can teach myself Hebrew. I am very much looking forward to the day I can read right to left.

I have drawn a few conclusions from what I have seen of the city: mainly, this place is NOTHING like I have every experienced before. I have never felt so out of my element before. And maybe I am just being hyper-sensitive because I don't want the people in my ultra conservative neighborhood to be offended, or because I want to be above reproach, or because I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me. When I walk through the Arab market streets in the old city, I keep my eyes forward and the smile off my face. The shop men are constantly trying to entice me with their wares, and young boys yell out directions to me. I am afraid that if I so much as glance at my map, I will get a swarm of people trying to give me advice and "help me" find my way. I thought I had reach a safe place where no one would bother me when I got into the Jewish Quarter, but some old man saw me glancing at my map while I was sitting on a bench and he just came up and started giving me a tour without so much as asking me. I hate being rude, but I wasn't about to follow this random man around an unknown city. Sometimes I just hate being bothered.

But that's not really the annoying thing. I think what really bothers me is that, in the attempt to stay neutral and be invisible, I don't really get to enjoy being me. I can't laugh or smile, because the shop men always notice and make some obnoxious comment. I can't be open and gregarious because this isn't a friendly city. I can't dance in the streets when I hear great Arabic music coming from one of the stalls...and I so want to dance. I think that, for me, having friends around kind of takes the pressure off. I am safe in a group. I can somehow find both anonymity and self-expression in a group. By myself I just feel vulnerable. So- I will let you know how that stalking goes so I can get on with some real exploration.

You will be proud to know that there is one way that I am absolutely asserting myself. I have dressed ultra conservative for the past few day, and I am quite enjoying it. I feel like the less I look like a foreigner, the less I am going to be bothered by the locals. But, Michelle told me that I might have better luck if were to put up my hair. Blond Israelis aren't very popular, as you might imagine. And I guess having your hair down is just asking men to harass you...something I will never understand. But, being me, and being particularly happy with my hair as I choose to wear it, I decided to forgo taking Michelle's advice. That was the last straw, as it were. I will dress conservatively. I will refrain from smiling at random people. I will avoid eye contact. But I will NOT change how I wear my hair. Maybe that is a bit of unneeded stubbornness, but that's just how it's going to be.

And that is all for tonight.

My life is crazy and random and tiring and lonely and full and adventurous and scary...but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have comfort in the fact that you are all there caring for me and thinking of me and praying for me.

Lots of love from Jerusalem,
Kelly

upon my last day in Geneva

I am moving to Jerusalem tomorrow.

As you might know, Sam Fiore has been in Israel for the past 3 weeks taking classes and getting the apartment ready for us. It was with a big smile and a breath of relief on my and Michelle's part that we welcomed him home on Thursday. These past three weeks have been some of the longest of my life, and Michelle had it much worse than me. Thankfully, I was able to take a bit of a break and travel around the Loire Valley with Melissa and her boyfriend. It was the perfect last trip before going to Jerusalem. And, if you are under 25, you should totally try to visit all the castles because you only have to pay the reduced fare! Of course, if you live in America, it probably wouldn't be worth the discount if you have to fly across the ocean, but it was quite nice for me. So, 10 castles, 2 churches, and a couple bottles of French wine later, I sent Melissa and Daniel back to the states and I headed back to Geneva for my last week.

And now it's my last day. Geneva is going to miss me.

This morning was chilly and wet as I drove to church. And there was also a fly in the car that kept buzzing around my face- it was terribly infuriating. I really couldn't get my mind focused. And the rain kept pouring down on my windows....then I'd go through a tunnel and it would stop. Then rain. Tunnel. Pouring rain. Tunnel. Fly in my face. Then rain. Tunnel. You get the idea. Very distracting as a driver. I had my umbrella open and my jacket around me as I walked into church. I like the cold weather, so I wasn't really bothered. (I actually enjoyed getting to make use of my new leather jacket.) But, I didn't realize what the day had in store.

After church, I went to lunch. After lunch, I got in my car and drove home. Now, during lunch the clouds apparently all got together and talked about my leaving. Or maybe they heard everyone saying their farewells to me, and decided to give me a little goodbye present. When I walked outside, I walked into the most beautiful day. The sun is shining and there is a fresh cold breeze coming down from the mountains. It reminds me of apple picking in Georgia. It reminds me of Katie Zurcher's mountain/lake house and its wood-burning stove that heats the whole house. It reminds me of cuddling up in quilts drinking hot cocoa out of big mugs and marveling at the changing leaves. It is big comfy sweater air. It is run around in fields air. I am trying to soak it all up before I go to Jerusalem...where I hear mountain breezes and wood-burning stoves are hard to come by.

I had to say goodbye to a lot of people today. It was horrible. I hate saying goodbye. I would rather say "see you later" or just not say anything at all. The thing is, there are some people I am going to miss and I am going to keep in touch with, and there are some who I was just friends with for this season of life, and others who I was always around, but never really got to know. And all of those differing relationships make for some very awkward farewells. Especially because my mind is spinning at the idea of moving to Jerusalem tomorrow- so I don't even know what to think about it all, much less what to say.

There are also some people who are worried for me. Jerusalem is a pretty volatile place, and it will probably get even more so with the coming UN conference and the Palestinians requesting to be recognized as a nation. But, please don't be. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where the Lord is taking the Fiores. And I also know that where I am in life is exactly where God wants me to be. This isn't a mistake or something I am unsure of or something I am nervous about. If you believe in things being ordained by God- than you have to believe this is. It's exciting and it's nerve-wracking and it's crazy. But, at the end of the day, it is just following the plans the Lord has for me.

And, if nothing else, it is going to be an amazing adventure.

I will miss you too Geneva! Shalom!

Boswell out.