never enough time

I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday.

As a treat to myself, I planned a trip to the North of England to be with on of my best friends, Gemma Daly. Unfortunately, I had so much fun, and I remembered just exactly how much I love her, that now I am desperate to go back again.

So, now the problem has arisen that there are too many things that I want to do, that there are just not enough hours in the day or days in a week or months in a year. I have blessings coming from every side, that I don't know how to handle them all- I guess it is actually a very good problem.

On the work side- I sincerely love my work. Yes, there are definitely moments and hours, and sometimes even days, when I am thinking "PLEASE LET THE WEEKEND COME." But usually when I am gone from Mia, Sam, Lydia, & Margot I miss them terribly. And I always come back from a weekend away thinking they look older and that I missed out on something. Although my job definitely includes a lot of "work," I still want to do it. I want to be here, in this home, as a part of this family, watching these precious children grow up. I love growing closer to them and making them smile and watching them learn. It's amazing.

Then on the other side of the coin, I have my "personal" life/ my free time- which I want to make the most of. I have already made some great friends in Geneva, who I love spending time with and traveling with. Spending time with them is rest from the hectic life of being a nanny, and most of them are nannies, so it is great to be able to sympathize and talk about our kids without feeling guilty about boring someone. I want to invest in them and get to know them and travel with them. But on the other side, I have a deep yearning to spend time with the people I already know and love. The fact that one of my best friends lives a short (and relatively cheap) plane ride away, draws me to the North. Like I mentioned before, as I was flying away, I was already missing her and the comfort I felt with someone so familiar and close.

So how do I do everything? How do I truly invest in this family, not wanting them to feel like I don't absolutely love them, and miss them when I am gone; while I still feel drawn to (and need) outside relationships that keep pulling me away?

I guess its all about moderation- but right now it just doesn't seem like there isn't enough time.

MY BIRTHDAY:
In case you were wondering about my birthday festivities, well here it is. The Fiore's were kind enough to give me the morning off on my birthday before my flight to Newcastle. So I got to sleep in a bit, plan a trip to Prague, and then get packed to head out. I drove my car the Fiore's apartment in Geneva, took the bus to the train station, took the train to the airport, and then got on my flight to Newcastle.
When I arrived in England, Gem was there to great me with a big hug, a balloon and a birthday present! I was SO excited to see her! It was so surreal- seeing a friend that, at our last goodbye, I didn't know when I would see again. So we took the metro to the center of Newcastle and did a bit of sightseeing and ice skating, then we took the train to Durham (where she goes to school).
Her little home was very cute and she stealthily put me in her room and said she was "going to go see if anyone else was there." Then she brought me into the lounge where she had decorated the entire place with red, white & blue balloons & made me a table FULL of cakes and treats. I was so overwhelmed and honored. It made me feel so loved and special. She really is wonderful. The rest of the weekend was full of shopping, touring Newcastle & Durham, going out to dinner for my birthday, and hitting up the worst nightclub in Europe. It was an AMAZING, UNFORGETTABLE way to spend my birthday and I don't know if I will ever be able to come close to it again.

Alright it's late, and I need to do my French homework.

Night!

not just great weather

I am at the point in my time here in Switzerland, that it all just feels as life should feel. I know that I am doing really amazing things, and I should be blogging them instantly, but it all just feels so right, and as it should be, that I don't have that overwhelming urge to shout it all from the highest mountain top.

Basically, life is grand. I still love my family. I am friends with a lot of other au pairs through this group called LiNK, and they all say to me "aw, you're so cute missing your kids, your just new, that will change." And it really bothers me, as if I don't know myself and how I feel. Yes, I admit that sometimes I get really excited that the kids are going to bed, but that doesn't change the fact that I love them and am happy to see their faces in the morning. And when I leave for the weekend, it feels like ages that I am away from my family. I love the fact that I am making friends and have all of these opportunities to go places and hang out with people, but it doesn't stop me from being glad to go home at the end of my time off.

So, let's review my weekends, because it feels like I have been here for much longer than I actually have, which I will fully realize when I write down what I have done for my weekends.

Weekend 1: I didn't know anyone, so I just relaxed, went into Geneva on my own (got lost), met up with a girl that the Fiore's are friends with for coffee, and then went to church with the Fiores on Sunday...where I met an au pair named Brittany, who introduced me to the world of LiNK....which leads me to my next weekend.

Weekend 2: LiNK ski retreat. I know this will upset a lot of you, but I didn't go skiing. I thought I should pace myself, seeing as it was only my second week in a new country, and I don't want to spend every penny that I make. I didn't know if anyone else wasn't skiing, but I figured that, either way, I could chill out, see some beautiful mountains, and probably meet some great girls. (You might be surprised to know that there are boy au pairs. I was AMAZED! One of them came to the ski retreat. I repeat: 1 boy, 40 girls. He didn't have a girlfriend by the end though, I asked.) But that's neither here nor there, even though poor James is still single, I at least made friends with a girl that wasn't going skiing either. She is British, and we spent the whole weekend together walking around some adorable Swiss Mountain towns and eating entirely too much chocolate. When we were heading off in our separate directions after our return bus ride home she said: "it was nice to meet you" and I was floored, it honeslty felt/feels like we have been friends for so much longer! The second day we spent with 2 other girls, Lisa from Scotland & Kristyna from the Czech Republic, and they were/are so much fun. Lisa makes me laugh nonstop and Kristyna is a sweetheart who has the added bonus of being from the Czech Republic (if you know me well enough, you know that I have a sort of soft spot for that particular country).

Weekend 3: The Fiore's were kind enough to let me use their apartment in Geneva so I could meet up with some of the girls I met on the aforementioned ski trip. Friday night I met up with my British friend Sarah to get dinner. Little did we know that we wouldn't be able to find anywhere to eat except for a pizza restaurant with a dodgy clientele and a creepy waiter named Mohamed who took my phone and called himself so he could have my number. Don't worry, I put "do not answer" under his number and ignored the call he made later that evening. But honestly, who does that? Freaking stalkers, that's who. I honestly freaked myself out a little bit the more I thought about it. I am just praying he found another girl to prey upon after we speed-walked away from the restaurant and forgot about me.
Saturday I went with Lisa, Sarah, Kristyna, and her friend, Lissa (from Germany), to a flea market in Plainpalais. I bought season 1 of friends for 12.50 CHF so I would have something to watch in the Fiore's apartment when I come. We got crepes for brunch across the street from the flea market and then walked around Geneva. The weather was beautiful and the company was great, so we wiled away the afternoon together laughing and talking. It's nice hanging out with au pairs because everyone kind of has the same view on life. We can talk about our charges and plan weekend trips and complain and understand each other. It is such a blessing...although I feel bad because I am usually praising my situation and the complaints are mostly on the other girls' sides.
The couple that runs the au pair community was having a movie night that evening for the girls who are in the Bible study, I have been to one of those, so I was invited. Most everyone I was with on Saturday was going...so I really wanted to go too. BUT, I had already told this other group of people that I was going to a party they were having....so, come Saturday night I found myself in a pickle. See, the Fiores are really involved in their church, and up until the time the twins were born, they ran the young adults group at said church. Michelle really wants me to get involved in that group, and I am no less willing/excited about the prospect, so she had encouraged me to go to a Chinese New Year party that someone was throwing...even though I would know at best 2 people there. I had decided to go to that, and face all of the new people with all of the bravery and good humor I could muster. But then the movie night invitation came along....and you know how I love a good movie night...so I was torn. Literally, it hurt to decide. I had already picked the movie night and was on the bus to go to it with the girls I had been hanging out with that day, and I called Michelle to tell her. (I was also telling her that I was going with some of the au pairs to Luzern on Sunday.) It was evident to me that she wanted me to go the Chinese New Year party, so I felt bad and didn't know what to do. It was really weird, I felt kind of lost. I was sitting on the bus looking at my new au pair friends, not wanting to hurt them with the prospect of my going to hang out with other people, but not wanting to miss an opportunity to make new friends, or snub the group of people Michelle truly wanted me to meet and love like she did. So, (and sorry if this is hard to follow) I decided to take advantage of the fact that I am already out of my comfort zone, and go to the Chinese New Year party. I figured that the best time to meet new people is when you are actually new, so it won't be this awkward "oh, you have been here for MONTHS you say? why I am just meeting you now." When I made the decision and got on a different bus to go the way to the New Year party, I was looking through my phone and I came across the C.S. Lewis quote of the day. It was something like "what you are going towards is far better than what you just left." So I felt like C.S. Lewis approved of my decision. Not that I think what I went toward was any better than what I left, but it was just a nice boost there on my phone when I needed it.

WOW weekend 3 is long...So the party was really fun. I met some really great people and only felt awkward for about 1 minute, which really isn't that bad for a whole evening. And, blessing of blessings, I got a ride home with a guy who is actually from Geneva (you don't meet a lot of them these days). Once I got home, I watched some of my Friends DVDs and went to bed.

The next day I woke up early and rushed to the train station to go to Luzern (a town in the German-speaking part of Switzerland) with Lissa, Kristyna, and another Czech girl, Martina. On the train I whipped out some of the Czech phrases I know, which Martina LOVED. It was so great, every time I would say something in Czech she got so excited and laughed and kept saying "this is so great!" I sincerely enjoyed it. Luzern was beautiful, so you should all go. It is a town situated on a lake, surrounded my mountains. Oh yeah. Amazing.

I guess there is just something about the au pair personality that I get along with, or maybe I have just been lucky enough to meet the amazing ones, but again, I had a great time with these girls. I feel so blessed to have made friends so quickly. Not only do we have common interests and personalities, but I truly enjoy talking to them and getting to know them, and I feel like it isn't possible that I have just met them. I have so much respect for them all and hope that we can keep going on adventures like we already have. I couldn't ask for better people in my life right now. I am amazed at all the blessings God keeps pouring on me, as if He hasn't already done enough with the great family I live with, to provide me with these great friends and adventures too. I am literally overwhelmed.

Soli Deo Gloria.

videos...continued

I was walking through the old city in Geneva, and there was this great singer along this street. I loved how it sounded and I just felt like it was a great gem on my day of touring my new city. Unfortunately, I missed videoing the part where he is singing in French...surprising that this Swiss man would pick an English song when I choose to film him.



Yes, I realize that videoing whilst driving is really dangerous....but you just had to see how beautiful my drive home it. How can you be jealous if you don't get to see some of the best parts? I apologize again for the horrible video-graphing. I am working on keeping my hand still when I undertake such a treacherous pastime.

Now I am going to sleep. Night!

a summation in video form

basically, this is the drive to my new home with Same Fiore. Exciting, eh?



this is me crossing the border, which I up to a few times a week to go to meetings, hang out with new friends, go to church, etc. It's kind of cool traveling from France to Switzerland on a day trip.

okay, this is all taking really long, and I must sleep if I want to be of any use tomorrow.

I will get more up soon! lots of love from the most beautiful country in the world!